Biology, Identity, and the Journey of Goals

Marcus Walton

Welcome back to Ascend Altitude Sessions. I’m Marcus Walton, and today I’m joined by Maya Calder. Today’s episode—“Biology, Identity, and the Journey of Goals”—digs into why two people can end up with the same trophy but have run wildly different races to get there. Literally and neurobiologically. Hey Maya, how are you?

Maya Calder

Hi Marcus, I'm well. Thanks for asking. Yeah, today's topic, [chuckling] if you’ve ever stared at someone and thought, “How are they making this look so easy?”, I know I have! Today we’re peeling back that curtain. We’re talking executive function, reward circuits, even the weird, twisty wiring inside our brains that nudges us toward persistence… or not.

Marcus Walton

Here’s something wild: you could take a man and a woman, put them through the same achievement gauntlet—a marathon, a PhD, or a workplace project—and overall, their results on paper might look the same. But under the hood? Everything from their brain connectivity to the molecules firing motivation is running a completely different playbook.

Maya Calder

Okay Marcus, so let’s geek out for a second. When scientists scan brains, they see that females generally have higher modal controllability. Basically, their brains are biologically better at switching between complex cognitive states. Males, on the other hand, have higher average controllability, which makes them naturals at sticking with something straightforward and persistent—like grinding out a single goal for ages.

Marcus Walton

Yeah, and those differences aren’t just decorative. Females show greater within-module connectivity, so there’s more integration—like having a tight-knit, super chatty project team. Males are more about between-module connectivity—a bit more like a command center sending orders out. Despite all these structural differences, it’s important to remember both strategies work. We’re not talking about superiority, just different roads to Rome.

Maya Calder

You know Marcus, that reminds me a bit of my old days working the festival circuit. I’d watch different colleagues hit setbacks—some just barreled ahead, willpower to the moon, while others laid low, quietly building allies and workarounds in the background. Same event, completely different problem-solving styles. And based on the science, those strategies are literally wired into us from the get-go, with things like estrogen influence and even certain brain regions doing heavier lifting for women when it comes to shifting gears.

Marcus Walton

Totally Maya—and on that note, the way our brain chemistry fuels persistence is distinct, right down to the neurotransmitter switches themselves. In males, it’s mostly about NMDA receptors—I’m gonna skip the deep-dive here—but for females, it’s more about L-type calcium channels and estrogen signaling. What’s cool is, both sexes show equally strong persistence in the lab, but the fuel source is different. Which, honestly, is why setbacks hit us in such individually weird ways.

Maya Calder

And that can play out in daily life. Some of us just bulldoze through, others are strategists or social glue, but it’s not random—these are the invisible gears under our motivation and how we recover when things get tricky. That almost makes me wish for an “executive function stats” card you could share at job interviews—like, “Hi! I’m Maya, and my modal controllability is off the charts!”

Marcus Walton

Yeah—maybe the guys over at Ascend could work on an app for that [Laugh]. But for now, it’s just helpful to know why your grind might feel different than someone else’s, even when you both cross the finish line.

Maya Calder

Okay, so we’ve seen how biology gives us our toolkit. But—and this bit personally frustrates me sometimes [frustrated]—science also shows society loves tossing extra obstacles, especially based on gender.

Marcus Walton

I'm with you Maya. Let’s zoom in on goal setting. There’s something called the “public performance penalty,” and it’s real. When women set ambitious goals publicly—like, “I’m going to ace this presentation,” or “I’ll close this deal”—their actual performance often drops compared to when those same goals are kept private. Men’s performance? Essentially unchanged. It’s like, the more eyes on you, the heavier the weight gets, but only for half the room.

Maya Calder

That connects to what we hit on in episode four, where we talked about “the Volition Wall”—willpower isn’t just an internal resource. Add social anxiety or fear of failing in front of others, and the cost skyrockets, especially for women who—statistically—already report more realistic self-calibration but higher stress in public settings.

Marcus Walton

Yeah, and the numbers back it up. Women tend to set more realistic goals and achieve them in private—67% of their self-set goals compared to 57% for men. But under public scrutiny, that realism gets disrupted. There’s also the “stereotype threat” at play—the fear of confirming a negative stereotype. For women in competitive or male-dominated fields, just being watched ramps up anxiety and undermines performance, even if their actual skills are rock solid.

Maya Calder

Let’s talk workplace, too. Sexual orientation brings another set of hurdles. Statistically, the “gay penalty” is real—gay men earn 10 to 32% less than straight men, even after controlling for education, experience, and role. Lesbians sometimes earn more than straight women, mostly because of higher continuous work participation, but here’s the catch—job satisfaction is lower for both gay men and lesbians compared to their heterosexual peers. The environment isn’t just about paychecks, it’s about feeling you have to play it safe or compress yourself to fit in.

Marcus Walton

This is where “minority stress” comes in—the ongoing anxiety of having to hide your identity or anticipate discrimination. Studies show it leads to burnout, depression, and tons of “preemptive avoidance”—folks picking safer, not necessarily optimal, work paths. It’s like your “goal horizon” shrinks. As we discussed in our self-determination episode, authentically aligning goals with your self is critical. But for folks facing structural barriers, authenticity comes at a much higher price.

Maya Calder

Yeah, earlier, the research described how in goal pursuit, women use more integrated coping strategies—thinking inward and outward, blending support systems—while men might attack problems head-on, sometimes at the risk of burning out. That mix of biological wiring and social context really changes which obstacles loom largest. In my festival management days, I saw colleagues who were out, or just different in some visible way, always scanning the room for risk, even as they quietly crushed their targets. It’s easy to overlook the quiet toll that takes.

Marcus Walton

Right Maya, and it explains why, even if the final achievements look similar from the outside, the mental and emotional energy spent to get there is far from equal.

Marcus Walton

All right, so let’s take a step back—because these differences don’t stay static. They’re shifting as we age, right along with our values and even our hormones. What drives your ambition at twenty-five may look totally different at fifty-five.

Maya Calder

Yep, and one wild statistic I loved—women who nail high-level educational goals early in life? They age “younger”—literally, their physiological age at 50 is 3.8 years less than men’s, and 2.7 years at 60. It’s like there’s this secret health buffer linked directly to those early achievements. That’s particularly potent for women, so those late-night study sessions… kind of pay dividends decades later!

Marcus Walton

There’s also the arc of achievement: for both sexes, peak physical performance comes mid-to-late twenties, but women tend to hit their stride a little later, especially in endurance events. After that, men have a slower physical decline, while women’s decline is steeper, widening performance gaps in older age settings. But, there’s a compensating shift—older adults move toward “self-concordant” goals. It’s less about external accolades and more about what they value inside.

Maya Calder

Oh, my gosh, this is so relatable for me. In my twenties, working the festival scene, I was 100% geared around proving myself—securing headlines, beating my own stress records, whatever. But hitting my thirties, suddenly it was legacy, community, making sure the next festival manager wasn’t stuck cleaning up the same messes I had. Seriously, my whole stress response flipped from “don’t blow it” to “how do I pass something good forward?”

Marcus Walton

That lines up with the research—testosterone pushes younger folks, especially men, into risk-taking and status battles. But as hormones dip, your metrics shift. You start anchoring your ambitions to generativity, impact, and the kind of goals that matter even if no one’s giving out medals.

Maya Calder

And not to forget—women’s ability to “unlearn” fears and take healthy risks is tied to estrogen levels, which change across the lifespan. There is no single roadmap—your goals and your resilience will keep evolving, shaped by a whole mess of biology, context, and experience. Maybe that’s a reason to be curious, not discouraged, when your priorities shift.

Marcus Walton

Exactly—and whatever your background, the journey to achievement is unique. If anything, embracing your own wiring and responding to life’s changes—well, that’s how you build achievement systems that actually last.

Maya Calder

Couldn’t have put it better myself Macus. So, that’s a wrap on biology, identity, and the journey of goals. Thanks for sticking with us through the brain science, the social hurdles, and all the ways our aspirations keep transforming. We’ll keep tackling these topics and finding new ways to outsmart our limits—one episode at a time. Marcus, see you next time?

Marcus Walton

Always. Maya, thanks for the climb today. And to our listeners, keep tracking your ascent. Until next session, stay curious and keep building your path.

Maya Calder

Take care out there, everyone!